In any workplace, you almost spend more of your day with your co-workers then you see your family that you live with. We all share the stories of our lives with each other, it's only natural. In a hair salon, you talk with your clients about what is going on with their lives and in turn you share what is going on with your own life. Sometimes you can have similar conversations several times a day, several times a week. When a co-worker has a big event in their life such as a wedding, a baby, making a monumental purchase... we all know the details because we have heard them all at least 4 times a day maybe 5 times a week. It's great to have a safe space to talk and listen to your clients. They are wonderful people to share your life story with.
There was a time when one stylist's "story track" was a little peculiar. She was telling all of her clients about her best friends life. Her friend had confided in the stylist that she was suffering with an eating disorder and it was affecting her ability to manage her emotions, her family was planning an intervention to get this woman help. The stylist latched on to her friends tragedy and told every person she could all of the embarassing details her friend had confided in her. The stylist made it sound like it was happening to her. She was giving out personal information down to the sex life between her friend and her friends partner. At some point it made me wonder what her friend would think if she knew all of these strangers knew such intiment details of her life? How much is appropriate to disclose about someone else? Where do we draw the line in chit chat or truly... gossip.
I guess that's what struck me so hard about this specific situation, her "best friend" was really struggling and the stylist was using her misfortune for entertainment. Sure, the stylist would act concerned and behave as though she was exhausted from worry but in the end, the stylist was getting attention from the story.
I watch a lot of Bravo type television... "Real Housewives" shows. In these show's, producers are goading the star's to confront each other off screen to engage in situations that in the everyday world we let go by to avoid confrontation and maintain relationships. That's what makes these show's so entertaining. People aren't going to tune in weekly to woman having lunch, but if one of the well dressed sophisticated woman loses her composure and throws a drink in another beautiful rich ladies face, we will watch it over and over again. If I wanted to start a fire, all it would have taken was one direct message to my co-worker's friend. Just letting her know that she was telling her story to everyone that would listen. Could you imagine? Now, it wasn't my place to get involved and so I didn't. Her friend was already going through one of the toughest parts of her life, she didn't have to know how humiliating her friend was making it. The only thing that changes anything between what my co-worker did and me writing this essay is complete anonymity. I realize that.
The co-worker and her friend had to part ways. I don't know how it truly went down, I only heard one side of the story. She said it was too much for her to be around... toxic I believe was the word thrown around there. Like all best friends, there through the tough stuff... until it's too tough. Either way, her talking track changed and she talked about herself for awhile until it started happening again, the next situation she was sharing naked photo's of the person she "cared deeply" for. We were all slack jawed that she was whipping out her phone faster then you could say "no thanks" and showing a photo of her vulnerable partner. The lesson I take from watching my co-worker is to really be thoughtful about the information I share. In a salon setting there is at least 5 other people in earshot most times and they can all hear what we are putting out there. If you care about someone and they trusted you with information, keep it like the special little thing that it is. I definitely try to keep all of my personal information private around that co-worker, in the most "self help" talk way... I don't feel safe around her.
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